Life’s lessons aren’t always learnt the easy way. Had never mulled much over the seriousness of this until I spent 13 weeks in India earlier this year.
And it was there that I learnt that no matter how prepared you might be by the news of your father’s sickness, the sight of a bedridden gaunt old man looking at you helplessly with tears in his eyes, face contorted and an arm outstretched to hug you just freezes you in your tracks. And that picture stays on to haunt you.
I learnt that when you see such a sight, it takes a hell lot of courage to not break down. That it’s show-time and you are supposed to put up your bravest act.
I learnt that my father loves me way too much. When he had mumbled that *I* was the reason behind his stroke, he wasn’t accusing me. It was his way of telling me that I am always on his mind and he worried himself sick over me.
I learnt that there are people who can say the most hurtful and insensitive things to you even in such an hour of distress. And I learnt to cringe at the sight of them for I couldn’t talk back.
I learnt that even as you try to get used to living without your mother (you can never really get used to this, can you? ) these people will point out how unlucky I am to not have her around now. Though I fail to see how any less of a torture it would have been for her.
I learnt the importance of being there for your loved one in an hour of crisis
I learnt that when misfortune falls on you, you just get the strength and wisdom to deal with it. Alone. And I learnt that being strong isn’t necessarily a good thing for it’s often accompanied by loneliness.
I learnt that it’s easier being a daughter to your father than being his guardian.
I learnt that when people say that I have earned a place for myself in Heaven for tending to my parents in their sickness, it makes me throw up. I’d rather go to Hell and have both my parents healthy than see them sick or dead.
I learnt that in some ways I have let go of my father.
And much as I hate, I am learning what it’ll be like to be in this world without the people who brought you into it.
And it was there that I learnt that no matter how prepared you might be by the news of your father’s sickness, the sight of a bedridden gaunt old man looking at you helplessly with tears in his eyes, face contorted and an arm outstretched to hug you just freezes you in your tracks. And that picture stays on to haunt you.
I learnt that when you see such a sight, it takes a hell lot of courage to not break down. That it’s show-time and you are supposed to put up your bravest act.
I learnt that my father loves me way too much. When he had mumbled that *I* was the reason behind his stroke, he wasn’t accusing me. It was his way of telling me that I am always on his mind and he worried himself sick over me.
I learnt that there are people who can say the most hurtful and insensitive things to you even in such an hour of distress. And I learnt to cringe at the sight of them for I couldn’t talk back.
I learnt that even as you try to get used to living without your mother (you can never really get used to this, can you? ) these people will point out how unlucky I am to not have her around now. Though I fail to see how any less of a torture it would have been for her.
I learnt the importance of being there for your loved one in an hour of crisis
I learnt that when misfortune falls on you, you just get the strength and wisdom to deal with it. Alone. And I learnt that being strong isn’t necessarily a good thing for it’s often accompanied by loneliness.
I learnt that it’s easier being a daughter to your father than being his guardian.
I learnt that when people say that I have earned a place for myself in Heaven for tending to my parents in their sickness, it makes me throw up. I’d rather go to Hell and have both my parents healthy than see them sick or dead.
I learnt that in some ways I have let go of my father.
And much as I hate, I am learning what it’ll be like to be in this world without the people who brought you into it.
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